JULIA CHILDS OSS SPY

NEWLY RELEASED FILES SHOW CHEF JULIA CHILDS WAS A SPY FOR OSS...

HER FAMOUS RECIPE FOR THE TURKEY BARBECUE

CODE NAME FOR THE TURKEY : LUDWIG VERNER SCHNITZLE

START WITH STRONG ALUMINUM BAKING SHEET

(IMPORTED FROM LUXEMBURG GRADE 3290 )

POUR DOUGH IN BOTTOM OF CONTAINER

AFTER POUNDING THE 'TURKEY ' INTO SUBMISSION WITH FULL FORCE

IMMEDIATELY ADD 3 OUNCES OF HIGH GRADE POTASSIUM XY2

CONSISTENCY ESSENTIAL

PUMMEL FOUNDATION UNTIL YOU GET THE 'TEXTURE' YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

ADD VEGETABLE OIL FOR FAST FRYING

THEN ROAST IN HIGHLY OCTAINED TOMATO SAUCE

GROUND GARLIC CLOVES INTO ANAL PASSAGE

STUFF 'PIMENTOS' INTO EARS AND CAVITIES

DEEP SLICE 10 INCHES ACROSS AND ADD PITTED PRUNES

CONTINUE FRYING UNTIL YOU SEE THE BAKING OIL 'SIZZLE'

'TURKEY' SHOULD START TO OPEN UP BY NOW.

IF ADDITIONAL COOKING IS REQUIRED

SCRAPE AWAY ANY EXTREMELY CHARRED BITS

STICK A THERMOMETER IN THE FAT OF THE GIZZARD

PEEL THE ONION AND WRAP AROUND NECK

SUBMERGE TURKEY IN PROPANE COOKER FILLED WITH PEANUT OIL

DUST WITH CAJUN PAPRIKA SEASONING

CUT OUT AND DISCARD THE ROOT AND DROP PIECES INTO BLENDER

EXTEND HEAT TO 500 F

STIR IN TOBASCO SAUCE UNTIL THE MIX TURNS COLOR

MAKE SURE BROWN ON ALL SIDES

SIMMER OVER UNTIL 'TURKEY ' REDUCED IN SIZE

NOW IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE TURKEY SQUAWCK !

REFRIGERATE !!!!