smudge report august 23/08

THE SMUDGE REPORT.....AUGUST 23/08
by jerry grant
WELL THEY RELEASED CAYSEE ANTHONY (MOTHER OF CAYLEE)
A STRANGER IN THE NIGHT PUT UP $50,000 BAIL FROM JAIL
SHE HAS TO WEAR AN ANKLE BRACELET
BUT I HEAR THAT THAT DOESN'T KEEP YOU FROM GOING OUT DANCING


CLARK ROCKEFELLER WAS ASKED WHAT HIS FATHER LOOKED LIKE
HE DESCRIBED SOME UNIMPLOYED GERMAN
ANYWAY...HE WAS WARNED ABOUT USING THE ROCKEFELLER NAME AGAIN.
HE PROMISED HE WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN
HE IS SWITCHING TO VANDERBILT


NEWLY RELEASED FILES SHOW CHEF JULIA CHILD WAS A SPY FOR OSS...

HER FAMOUS RECIPE FOR turkey BARBECUE

CODE NAME FOR THE TURKEY : LUDWIG VON VERNER SCHNITZLE

START WITH STRONG ALUMINUM BAKING SHEET
(IMPORTED FROM LUXEMBURG GRADE 3290 )
POUR DOUGH IN BOTTOM OF CONTAINER
AFTER POUNDING THE 'TURKEY ' INTO SUBMISSION WITH FULL FORCE
IMMEDIATELY ADD 3 OUNCES OF HIGH GRADE POTASSIUM XY2
CONSISTENCY ESSENTIAL
APPLY INTENSE HEAT
PUMMEL FOUNDATION UNTIL YOU GET THE 'TEXTURE' YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
IF IT STILL GOBBLES LIKE GOEBELS !!!
REFRIGERATE !!!


HOMES SWEET HOMES
McCAIN WAS ASKED HOW MANY HOMES HE OWNS
HE COULDN'T ANSWER ... ( THE PRESS DISCOVERED 10 SO FAR )
BUT HE DID SAY THE ECONOMY IS DOING GOOD !!!
HE CAN RELATE TO REGULAR FOLK

AND THAT'S A JOKE...


RUSSIA FLEXES IT MISSILES '
NOW IF YOU REMEMBER, BUSH WAS SITTING NEXT TO PUTIN AT THE OLYMPICS
WATCHING THE VOLLEYBALL MATCHES. SMILING ..TALKING..DOING THE WAVE.
SAME MOMENT PUTIN WAS WAVING HIS TANKS INTO GEORGIA ...

RUSSIAN TANKS...TRUCKS...TROOPS DOING A GRAND TOUR OF GEORGIA
BUSH SEZ: YOU DON'T DO THAT IN THE 21ST. CENTURY AND GET AWAY WITH IT (????)
President Bush said today, that Russia will be in big trouble if it doesn't leave Georgia.. He has stationed troops on the boarders of Tenn. Florida, Alabama, So. Carolina, and has the US Navy blockading the East coast of the USA.. I guess he means business..

OKAY CHINA...
THE USA IS ENTERING BRAD AND ANGELINA'S TWINS IN THE 2012 TRAMPOLINE EVENT...


NASA: THERE'S ICE OUT THERE!
NOW ISN'T THAT GREAT NEWS FOR 'HOOTERS'

HERE’S AN EASY GAME TO PLAY
HERE’S AN EASY THING TO SAY
THIS AIN’T DREK…IT’S SIMPLE TECH…SO SEND ME A CHECK
AND WHAT THE HECK !!!

IF A PACKET HITS A POCKET ON A SOCKET ON A PORT
AND THE BUS IS INTERRUPTED AS A VERY LAST RESORT,
AND THE ADDRESS OF THE MEMORY MAKES
YOUR FLOPPY DISK ABORT,
THEN THE SOCKET PACKET POCKET HAS AN ERROR TO REPORT.

IF YOUR CURSOR FINDS A MENU ITEM FOLLOWED BY A DASH,
AND THE DOUBLE-CLICKING ICON PUTS
YOUR WINDOW IN THE TRASH,
AND YOUR DATA IS CORRUPTED ‘CAUSE THE INDEX DOESN’T HASH,
THEN YOUR SITUATION’S HOPELESS, AND YOUR
SYSTEM’S GONNA CRASH.

YOU CAN’T SAY THIS?
WHAT A SHAME SIR!
WE’LL FIND YOU
ANOTHER GAME SIR.

IF THE LABEL ON THE CABLE ON THE TABLE AT YOUR HOUSE,
SAYS THE NETWORK IS CONNECTED TO THE
BUTTON ON YOUR MOUSE,
BUT YOUR PACKETS WENT TO TUNNEL ON ANOTHER PROTOCOL,
THAT’S REPEATEDLY REJECTED BY THE
ROUTER DOWN THE HALL.

AND YOUR SCREEN IS ALL DISTORTED BY THE
SIDE EFFECTS OF GAUSS
SO YOUR ICONS IN THE WINDOW ARE ALL WAVY, AS IF SOUSED,
THEN YOU MAY AS WELL REBOOT, AND
GO OUT WITH A BANG,
‘CAUSE AS SURE AS I’M A POET, THE SUCKER’S GONNA HANG.

WHEN THE COPY OF YOUR FLOPPY’S GETTING
SLOPPY ON THE DESK,
AND THE MICROCODE INSTRUCTIONS CAUSE UNNECESSARY RISK,
THEN YOU HAVE TO FLASH YOUR MEMORY, AND
YOU’LL WANT TO RAM YOUR ROM.
QUICKLY TURN OFF THE COMPUTER. AND BE
SURE TO TELL YOUR
MOM.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS vvvvv