OLYMPICS KAZAKHSTAN 2012

SACHA BARON COHEN WHOM WE ALL KNOW AS 'BORAT'
WATCHED THE CHINESE STUPENDOUS SPECTACULAR SPECTACLE !
AND WAS QUOTED AS SAYING "IT WAS CUTE"

BUT WAIT 'TILL YOU SEE KAZAKHSTAN'S OLYMPICS IN 2012

WE OPEN WITH THE KAZAKHSTAN SYMPHONY COMB AND WAX PAPER ORCHESTRA
PLAYING THEIR ROUSING NATIONAL ANTHEM "CALIFORNIA HERE I COME "

FOLLOWED BY OUR FAMOUS BUNGEE DIVING TEAM WHO JUMP OUT OF A HELICOPTER
AND LAND IN THE HOSPITAL ...

FOLLOWED BY THE BREATHTAKING HIGH JUMPERS FROM MEXICO (WHO WERE ONCE
DISQUALIFIED FOR EATING MEXICAN JUMPING BEANS WHICH IS AGAINST THE RULES )

WE HAVE SEVERAL SPECIAL SPORT SURPRISES PLANNED...

WE HAVE TONYA HARDING WHO IS GOING TO WHACK NANCY KERRIGAN IN THE KNEES AGAIN.

WE HAVE MIKE TYSON WHO IS GOING TO BITE A CHUNK OFF THE EAR OF OUR NATIONAL WRESTLING CHAMP TUBBY BOOTZ.

WE WILL HAVE RUNNER MARION JONES WHO WILL BE OUT OF HER ORANGE JUMP SUIT ...
JUST TRY TO CATCH HER !

ENGLAND IS SENDING AMY WINEHOUSE...A SURE WINNER ON THE 'HIGH' BAR...

GERMANY'S SENDING HEINZ, HEINZ AND DAD, SUPERB WEIGHT LIFTERS...

RUSSIAN POLE VAULTER, IGOR STRAJINSKI, IS SCRATCHED .
HE POLE VAULTED INTO THE RUSSIAN EMBASSY AND THEY NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN...

CUBA BOATSMEN ARE FAVORED TO WIN EASILY. JUST THINK OF ALL THEIR PRACTICE RUNS
FROM CUBA TO MIAMI...

SOUTH AFRICA IS SENDING THEIR BEST SWIMMERS. THEY BECAME GREAT SWIMMERS
WHEN THEY HAD TO SWIM FOR THEIR LIVES TO GET AWAY FROM THE ALLIGATORS

THE CZECHS ARE SENDING LUDVIK SLOVAK... HE IS THEIR TOP DISCUS THROWER
ALTHOUGH IN PRELIMINARIES, HE ONLY THREW A TANTRUM !

ISRAEL'S GOLD HOPE...MYER GOLD. HE IS GOING TO OPERATE THE CONCESSION STAND
SELLING KASHA...KREPLACH AND KNISHES....

ITALY IS GREAT AT VOLLEYBALL...THEY GET IT FROM THROWING ALL THOSE PIZZA DOUGHS
UP IN THE AIR..

FRANCE CAN'T WAIT....THEY ARE SO ANGRY THAT AN AMERICAN, LANCE ARMSTRONG, HAS WON
THE TOUR DE FRANCE .... EMBARRASSING THEM 7 TIMES IN A ROW.
THEY KNOW HE IS NOT GOING TO KAZAKHSTAN AND THEY'RE GLAD !

WE EXPECT AN UNCONTROLLABLE MAJOR RIOT AT THE SOCCER MATCH BETWEEN KAZAKHSTAN AND YUGOSLAVIA ( YUGOSLAVIA NEVER PLAYED SOCCER )
THEN WE HAVE SPECTACULAR FIREWORKS ...UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN BEFORE..
WE SET FIRE TO THE STANDS ....

WE CLOSE WITH POLICE SIRENS CHASING THE ORGANIZERS DOWN HIGHWAYS K -95 FOR A BIG FINISH !!!

GO TOP THAT....